I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
