At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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