now i know why i became what i already was.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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