Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
