1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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