I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize