The brown eye won't let me do that either.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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