things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
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Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
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is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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