I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
