some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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