I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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