Whod you bang
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
