apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
