well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
