Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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