Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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