I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
