Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
why didn't you poke me back
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i would one night stand the shit outta him
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
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