i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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