You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
