alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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