with your own penis?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
