why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
