I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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