I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
