Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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