using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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