it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize