I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
