Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
