I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
