no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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