I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
