OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
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