I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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