Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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