I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
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I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
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There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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