you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
