South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
