I think I died a long time ago.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize