I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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