my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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