I swear she didn't look like that last week.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
