you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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