I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
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I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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