Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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