do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
