Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
