it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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