based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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