Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
