so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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