so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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