it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
you had me at cake vodka
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
