This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
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The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
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I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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