Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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