Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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