I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
