ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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