is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
