it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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