After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
