I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
