in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
