I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize